What is love?

So I know, it has been forever .. ha anyways, this one is going to be a little different, however it will tie into the next one i write which will be very soon.. enjoy

'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind' ; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Luke 10:27

A lot of people ask the question, or if not ask wonder, 'what is love?' It seems to be on most people's minds, so much that if you don't even have time to find love but you want it, its just a click away. Love can come hard through years of dating, disappointment, defeat, and dishonesty. For others, it may come easy and they just find someone that clicks. The truth of the matter is is that love is impossible to hold, but something you can't let it go of, as blind as it is foreseen, and mysterious as it is true.

I made a book once. Well, it was already a book, a thesaurus actually. It was a large book...until I ripped out some pages and cut out the center of it. It's called an altered book. I took a book already made and altered it. I painted the outside of it gold, got some supplies from Hobby Lobby, and a week later, I had a finished product. It was called, well it didn't have a name but on the inside cover of it it asked the same question, 'What is love?' I guess you could call it something creative like, "the love book".. ya very creative. It was a gift for a 3 year anniversary. I thought it was a great gift myself after spending a week on it, and the girl who got it also really liked it. But I thought I really had done a good job of defining love through this book. Each page had it's own idea or focus with sweet/cheesy quotes and song lyrics, even some stuff I had made up. I meant every word of it.. but did I really define what love is? Did I answer the question, wholeheartedly knowing what it actually was?
It's been a little over 2 years since I made the book, and in that time I have experienced, observed, read about, and seen so many angles I had never thought about. Not just about relationships, but about people, the human condition.
Going into this past summer, I was a sour person, at least to some people. I had a problem that was really never there before. I was letting people push my buttons and letting it actually get to me. I had somehow lost patience and eventually quit trying to love these people. After realizing this had become a problem I prayed for God to show me how to love people. I decided that this summer I had a mission and it was to learn how to love like Jesus, unconditionally or as close to as possible. Well, of course God came through and put me in situations where I had to practice. I was given opportunities, perhaps one of the hardest, yet rewarding things I've ever had to go through. I met this girl, who ironically has the same last name as me, and quickly became friends with her. We always seemed to get to class early at the same time and be afraid to walk in the room for fear of there being a class already in there, so to spare the embarrassment we'd just stay outside and talk. I was, at that point, really her only friend at school, and I think I liked that because that made me the go to person for UAB stuff. And being a guy it felt good giving directions and providing answers. However, I don't remember how ready I thought I was for this next bit of news. I don't quite remember how it came up, but her mom had cancer, it was really bad. A few weeks later I found out she only had so much longer to live. But what I really wanted to know was how my new friend was handling all of this, how she was even able to get out of bed in the morning, how she seemed so strong. We had lunch one day, for a few hours, exchanged stories and from then on we were pretty good friends. By this time, I had kinda figured that God had put us both in this position for a purpose. I was seeking an opportunity to love people, the human condtion, and I dunno, maybe she needed someone to be there for her. At least that was my reasoning. But it wasn't so much my trying to be there for her, or helping out with whatever I was able to, it was more her showing me what it meant to love, to have faith. I could sometimes tell her frustration with life, with her situation. I could tell when the night before class was a good one or a bad one. I wouldn't have to ask her why she missed class once or twice in that week. I could read her swollen eyes and almost tell the story. But never once for a moment did she forget at the end of the day to love God with all her heart. She was most of the time actually joyful. She never didn't laugh at my stupid jokes, and I never failed to walk into a your momma joke as she concluded the joke with a long exaggerated 'ooohhhh!" It was so amazing to me that the one so many people would blame, she loved. In the one that is blamed constantly for this or that she sought peace and comfort. At the funeral, I remember sitting near the back crying as I watched her hands raise, praising God during one of the songs. I wasn't too sure how I was supposed to feel the next couple of days, sad or peaceful (as my friend was). I think it was more of that first one.

One thing that I am constantly learning is that it's impossible to pour out an empty pitcher of,, well anything. It's impossible to show love if you don't first have it in you. It's impossible to love others if you don't first let God's perfect love consume you.
In the midst of that summer long journey, I also had other experiences and insights of what love is.
I was once in a relationship and near the end of it I spent so much time focused on how perfect I thought she should be, which is why this was near the end of it.. The focus was mostly about how mistakes were inexcusable, and how anything new was unacceptable. It took a while for me to realize how crazy all of that thinking was. It took taking a step back and looking at the situation, looking at how not to love somebody. But when I figured it out this summer I didn't know if this insight hit me like a ton of bricks, or felt like a ton of bricks lifting off my shoulders, or maybe both? The epiphany was great! It relieved a bunch of stress, because now I knew what not to do, but at the same time, man, was I that bad? Well, oddly enough, with the help of the movie "into the wild", I was able to realize that "Happiness is shared". These are the words the main character writes as his conclusion to his lifelong journey searching for happiness. Relationships aren't about being perfect, loving people isn't about being perfect, but it's about sharing experiences, sharing mistakes, sharing old memories along with making new ones. It's not about using everything in your power to control someone but letting that person be theirself while you provide a shoulder to cry on, a word of encouragement, or being their biggest supporter. So many relationships fail because of this. So many people have the idea of love being obtained through perfection, when its obtained through experiences, good or bad, with someone. It's obtained through the joys and pains of growing. It's about the human condition, which is imperfection, mistakes, shortcomings, or any situation where forgiveness can be made strong. Love is the bridge which brings together our imperfections with our flawless desire to press on.

When I prayed to learn how to love, I had no clue what awaited as the answer to my prayer. But God showed me, and provided situations for me to love. I definitely learned a lot this summer.

Be looking for the 2nd part of this coming soon.

Worst Experience Ever

Hello all! it's been a while, so here we go!

Ephesians 2:8-9
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast

One Sunday at the beginning of the semester, January 13th to be exact, I was pumped because I was about to play the coolest game ever with some of the coolest guys ever. The game is called Berzerker. It's a combination between football, rugby, soccer, and basketball. Awesome! right!? YA! It was the first play of the game, I got the ball, took one step, and POP!! I was down. I tore a calf muscle and the next 2 weeks of life were the most agonzingly, dreadful, exhausting experience ever.....crutches. Now some of you may think,,"o, crutches, those look easy." or "I've been on crutches before and they weren't that bad" well I hated them! But of course, I learned something. I dont know why, but everything i encounter, I think about those things, for days haha. Being on crutches, it was difficult to get around, especially since i had to get around birmingham. For the most part, i just tried as much as i could to suck it up and be tough about travleing multiple blocks. I think what helped out alot was the fact that people were very thoughtful. They held open doors and were always offering to help carry things for me; however, i nicely rejected the help. Why? i dunno. I just wanted to do everything for myself, even somethin as simple as carry something up stairs. So I did, after i rejected help. I never fell down the stairs, or was unable to perform my day to day tasks. I made it. While i crutched from place to place i did have alot of time to just think, and so i thought about how i wanted to continue doing everything for myself, but most of all, how all of us wants to do everything ourselves when it comes to Religion. Lets take a poll(raise your hand if this applies, i will too)....How many of you want to do everything they can each day to ensure a spot in Heaven? How many of you spend time each day reading the Bible and praying cause you want to be saved? How many of you think that you will be saved because of your deeds, faith, or because you have committed less sin then someone else that you know? One thing i learned was that there is nothing that you or I could ever,, EVER do to be saved. Not one act of kindness, one right word, or refraining from an activity earns us salvation...Guys, we are saved and saved only by Jesus. There is nothing we could ever do to earn salvation ourselves because Jesus has already done that. God sent Him to die on the cross for US. By that act, and that act alone we are saved, and cleansed from our sins. Not by anything that you, your siblings, your parents, or your preacher has done, But by the Grace of God alone. I wanted to do everything myself and triumph over my injury, and i realized that it just wasn't possible to do alone. Ya i got rid of the crutches and can walk on my own now, but i still need doctors to finish the healing. Its not because i can say no to my temptations, make it to church on sundays, or show compassion for others,, no, It's because Jesus suffered and died for me and for you. That is why you and I are saved. If God us tuggin at your heart, and you so badly want to enter the kingdom, the only thing you need to do is confess that Jesus Christ is the Son of the living God and find yourself a good Bible based Church.
Love yall!

Runnin' on Empty

Hey everybody! It has been a while since I last posted anything. The reason for this is because I wanted to hold in my thoughts as I experienced day to day life. I didn't want to know that I'd be writing about my experiences before I had any. So in a wierd way I planned on tricking myself. But anways, on to the blog..... I spend a lot of time walking around campus. I go to class, then come back from class, go to the rec. center, or to the diner. A vast majority of the people that I see or stand next to on the corner, waiting for the walk signal, has an iPod stuck in their ear. After about a week of debating with myself, whether or not i should listen to my ipod when i walk around, i decided to go ahead and give it a try. I mean, what could it hurt? Well it was amazing! Who would have thought that just listening to your ipod while walkin the busy streets of birmingham could be so exciting?! I threw that thing in shuffle mode and took off. There was an instant satisfaction when i pushed play, and i couldnt help but smile, haha. But why was it so good and satisfying? What is so cool about listening to music and walking? Well, this is what i came up with.. We spend a lot of our lives watchin tv shows and movies, both of which have music. They have music for everything; the intro song, music between scenes, for movies theres music playing during the movie, and then the outro music. The music is usually relevant to the mood of what is happening, if it is a sad moment, a sad song or melody, a happy moment is paired with happy music, and so on.. This is the same idea with the ipod. I could walk down the street in the middle of the city with traffic and construction (lots of loud noises), on my way to a class or lab that i really dont feel like going to at the moment and only hear whatever was playin on my ipod. Well, a couple of weeks ago, that was my situation, i was goin to class, and didnt really feel like goin, but i was listenin to Nat king cole "almost like being in love" . I mean it was silly at first, the song, considering my location and the people standing around me, but when that was all i heard, i thought,, "this is my theme music!" you know, the music that plays during a movie scene where people are performing daily routines and theres no dialogue, that song or music kinda sets the tone. Well this upbeat song set the tone for that few moments, and really for the rest of the day. I walked and looked at my surroundings through different eyes. There is just something great about knowing that you have your own theme song, you become important and dont feel alone. There is an extra sense of beauty in everything. I was walkin up the block, and it was late after class, so of course its rush hour. As i watched all of the people in their cars at a stand still, not one of them was smiling, or seemed relaxed;however, my theme music had me pumped. The fact that there was a lot of anger just a few feet away from me didnt phase me. Though without my ipod, my walk back to the room would have seemed long, my legs would have gotten sore from walkin up the hill, i would have been thinking about all the stuff i had to do for the next day, i probably would have had to wait 10 min for the walk signal, the elevator would have been broken, the list can go on.. but with the constant music, none of this mattered, (it all happened anyways). I believe this same principle applies within ourselves. Get past all of the music and physical aspects and look into your inner being. We listen to the music (our theme song) because it makes us feel important. Thats the same reason we have God fill our souls; so we can have meaning. HE soothes our hearts as the song soothes our ear. There are so many distractions which bring us away from God, and most of the time we fail to realize it. Oddly enough, it took my ipod to help me realize beauty, and that i was empty. We as Christians strive daily to please God, our friends, and ourselves. Since so many things must be met, we are going to eventually run out.. of what?.. of ourselves. We spend a lot of time running on empty just trying to squeeze out the last bit before we have to fill up again. One thing i learned as an intern this past year, is that filling up is the only way you can pour out. And so as i watched all of these people listen to their ipods, they were filling up as i just walked along, only pouring out just enough. I needed my fill. If you haven't caught the metaphor yet, this is how we are to live. And so many people want to make it complicated, and make excuses. Well i didn't even talk to any of these people on campus and they ministered to me just by filling up. I realized how much we need God. If a "theme song" can make things so much better, God can do inifintely more. God is the song we should live by. He is the song and theme we live to, but sometimes we become deaf to the music. But how simple?! They listen to their ipods as we should just pray, or read a few passages from our bible (trust me if you read your bible in public people will notice cause, who can't pick out a bible from any other book?). You dont have to go out with a microphone, or Jesus written on your forehead. But just by filling up daily with what God has to offer, withoug meaning to, you will spill, drip, and soak those around you. I challenge you to fill up,, it's free! Go and affect people by the way you live.

Where is God?

Many people like to ask the question, "Where is God?" There are so many times in which we hurt and suffer. There are other times in which life seems so unfair. God has promised us many things, but He has not promised us that life would always be fair, or pain free; however, many people still get the illusion that because they become a Christian then life is all downhill from there. Well, yes and no. No, just because you become a Christian doesn't mean that you get one of those "easy buttons" from staples. You may sometimes go through a hard time whether it be struggling with sin or just random things in life that kick you in the butt and you wonder "God where are you in all of this?" Then there's the "yes" aspect of this. Because you become a Christian and accept Jesus into your life, you no longer have to let sin run your life. You now have a savior who rescued you from death, from eternal pain. You recieve a God who loves you , who has loved you, and will love you forever. With a God of this magnitude comes an all knowing God who knows your every need, thought, passion, struggle, and pain. There are many passages involving this subject, but there is one that I chose: Psalm 139:1-18. 5 (read)

In this Psalm, David talks about how God knows his every thought before he thinks it, and every word before he speaks it. That God is everywhere and that you cannot escape His presence. Verse 12 says that darkness cant even hide you from God for He shines like the day. And even before David was born God had planned out each of his days. In verse 17 "How precious to me are your thoughts, God!" David is saying, "God I don't know what your will for me is but I know that as long as I'm faithful to you and your word that you have great things in store for me. I am not afraid to give you my life and to let you take control."

So where is God? From what we have read, He is everywhere and in everything. To feel His presence you must be aware of Him first. My challenge for you is to go out and find Him. Where out in the world is He? But most importantly, is He in you?